6 Months Later....

6 months down, eternity to go, and I have loved everything about being married to my best friend. I have learned more in the past six months about being human, about interacting with another person so closely, about my beliefs, opinions, and ideas than I feel like I ever have through my 19.5 years of living before marriage. When I entered this covenant with God and with my husband, I had a lot of ideas and somewhat expectations about what was in store for the two of us, but boy was I wrong. I thought that Clayton would be my rock, my one sure course through all of life. I thought he would be the one that grounded me when all else failed, my shoulder to cry on, the person I could go to about anything and everything. I thought that he would be the person that I would know so perfectly in this world. And guess what? I was completely right, even more so than I ever could have imagined. What I didn't realize in all of those expectations about what Clayton would be for me, was that I would be (and he desperately needs me to be) all of those things for him. As much as I knew that I would need him through life, he needs me. He needs me to talk him through the confusing days, listen while he expresses his frustrations, be his shoulder to cry on.
Some people try to say that marriage is 50/50 and let me just set you straight. It's not. At all. 50/50 is divorce--where you each get half. I don't want half. I want anything and everything in our relationship and in life. In my short little infinity (to quote the first movie we watched together exactly a year ago--The Fault In Our Stars), I have learned over and over again that a perfect marriage is completely 100/100. However, you both aren't going to be able to give 100% at every single point in the day. Sometimes you gotta be the one that puts in the 150 when he's had a really down day, but you have to think about it like that. If he's not at his best, you need to be even better than your best to make up for it--which is so much easier said than done.
People also try to tell you not to go to bed angry. That's bull crap, at least for the two of us. Some good shut eye can heal most frustrations and miscommunication. Roll over, scoot away from each other, and drift off to sleep. Then wake up the morning and apologize. Don't expect an apology from him. In any heated discussion, dare I say argument, there is something that YOU can apologize for and don't be expecting an apology from him. Make it sincere, which again, is easier said than done.
The last six months have truly been more than I ever could have imagined it to be. I have been wrong more times than I can count, but I am so grateful for that. I thought I would have to talk myself into liking Rexburg. I was wrong. I thought that BYU-I would somehow be less than BYU (I know, terrible stereotype, but you know that we have all thought it at one point or another). I could not have been more wrong about that one. I thought that married life would be all sunshine and rainbows. Boy was I wrong, but I sure wouldn't appreciate the most wonderful times in the last six months without the rain (cliche, I know, get off my back haha). Luckily, though, the sunshine has FAR outweighed the rain.
One last thing that people often say about marriage--that the first year is the hardest. It hasn't been a year yet, but if the next six months go like these last six months have, then I will be more than happy to hit that year mark knowing that it only goes up from there (which will already be pretty dang hard to beat!).